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Divorce: first steps in England and Wales

A calm, plain guide to the first steps of separating in England and Wales.

Please note: This site is for information only and is not legal or financial advice. Please seek legal advice from a qualified solicitor about your own situation.

There is no right speed for any of this. You do not have to decide everything at once. This page sets out the main steps in plain words, based on GOV.UK guidance for England and Wales. Scotland and Northern Ireland have different rules.

Last reviewed: 29 October 2026. The sources are listed at the bottom of this page.

If you are in danger now, call 999. For free, confidential help at any time, call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247. More help is on our Free support page.

What to do first

  • Think about safety. If you or your children are at risk, get help before anything else.
  • Gather important papers. Your marriage certificate, bank statements, pension details, mortgage or tenancy papers. Keep copies somewhere safe.
  • Check what help with costs you can get. Use the GOV.UK legal aid checker and ask about help with court fees.
  • Get advice about money before you finish. Your divorce does not settle your finances on its own (see below).

On this page

How divorce works

You can apply for a divorce in England or Wales if you have been married for over a year and your relationship has permanently broken down. Your marriage must be legally recognised in the UK. This includes same-sex marriages.

The waiting periods alone add up to at least 26 weeks, which is about 6 months. Most divorces take longer than that, so it helps to plan for it.

  1. Apply. You can apply online or by post. The court application fee is £628. You may be able to get help with fees if you get benefits or are on a low income. You can apply on your own (a sole application) or together (a joint application). GOV.UK says to apply jointly only if you are not at risk of domestic abuse.
  2. Wait 20 weeks. You need to wait 20 weeks after the court issues your application before you can apply for a conditional order. In a sole application, your husband or wife is asked to respond within 14 days.
  3. Conditional order. This was called a decree nisi. It says the court does not see any reason why you cannot divorce. You are still married at this point.
  4. Final order. This was called a decree absolute. You must wait at least 6 weeks and 1 day after the conditional order before applying for the final order. If you apply more than 12 months after the conditional order, you will need to explain the delay to the court. Once you get the final order, you are divorced.

Before you apply, GOV.UK suggests you make arrangements for children, money and property. You can usually avoid court hearings if you agree about these.

Mediation and MIAMs

A mediator helps you and your ex-partner agree on things like children, money and property, without taking sides. Mediation is not relationship counselling, and it is not about getting back together.

The first meeting is called a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, or MIAM. It explains how mediation works and whether it suits you. You and your ex-partner each go to your own MIAM. GOV.UK says the usual cost is around £120, and fees vary between mediators. You do not have to pay for a MIAM if either of you qualifies for legal aid. If you think you might qualify, look for a mediator who does legal aid work.

Going to a MIAM does not mean you have to go ahead with mediation. Mediation only happens if you both agree to take part.

If you want the court to decide about children or money, you will usually need to go to a MIAM first. You will not usually need to go if, for example:

  • you have evidence that you are a victim of domestic abuse
  • your children are at risk of harm, for example social services are involved in their care
  • the application is urgent, for example you or your child are in danger
  • you are applying for a consent order (an agreement you have already reached)
  • you went to a MIAM in the last 4 months

There are other exemptions, and most need evidence. See the full list of MIAM exemptions and the evidence you need.

Help with the cost. If your case involves a child, you can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 towards family mediation, whatever you earn. It is one voucher shared between you and your ex-partner, not £500 each, and it cannot be used for the MIAM. Money questions only count if they come with a question about a child. Vouchers are limited, so ask your mediator about current availability.

Legal aid is help with the cost of legal advice, mediation or going to court. In family cases it can cover:

  • family mediation, for example if you are deciding on child arrangements
  • legal help if you or your children have experienced domestic abuse and you cannot afford legal costs (you will usually need evidence, such as a letter from the police, a doctor or a support service, but you can speak to an adviser before you have it)
  • protecting yourself or a child from abuse or harassment

Whether you can get it depends on your case and your finances. Your income, savings and property may be looked at, and there are exceptions. Do not assume you will not qualify. Use the GOV.UK legal aid checker, or call Civil Legal Advice on 0345 345 4345, Monday to Friday 9am to 8pm and Saturday 9am to 12:30pm.

Arrangements for children

You and your ex-partner may be able to avoid court if you can agree where your children will live, how much time they spend with each of you, and how you will support them financially. You can write this down in a child arrangements plan, agree it through mediation, or use other ways of settling things out of court.

For money to support your children, you can make your own arrangement or use the Child Maintenance Service.

If you cannot agree, you can ask the court to decide. You will usually need to go to a MIAM first (see the exceptions above). The court application fee is £270, and you may get help with fees if you get benefits or are on a low income.

Money and property

You will need to agree how to split things like your home, savings, investments and pensions. You can usually avoid court hearings if you agree. The fees below are court application fees only. Legal advice and other costs are extra.

  • If you agree, you can ask the court to make your agreement legally binding with a consent order. The court application fee is £62. The court cannot approve it before your conditional order.
  • If you cannot agree, you can ask the court to make a financial order. The court application fee is £321. You will usually need to go to a MIAM first, except in certain cases such as domestic abuse. The judge looks at things like the length of the marriage, each person’s age, earning power, needs and caring role. Arrangements for children come first. The reason for the divorce is not taken into account.

Ending your marriage does not settle your finances

A final order ends your marriage, but it does not automatically divide your money and property or end possible financial claims between you. An agreement that is not legally binding cannot be enforced by a court if problems come up later.

Get legal advice about your financial arrangements before you apply for the final order, particularly if pensions are involved. Applying afterwards may still be possible, but it can have financial consequences.

Looking after yourself

Separation can be one of the hardest things a person goes through. Some small things can help:

  • Talk to someone you trust, or to a counsellor. GOV.UK points out that you can get support or counselling during a divorce. Relate offers counselling for individuals, couples, families and children.
  • Take it one step at a time. Write down your questions before you speak to an adviser, and keep copies of important papers somewhere safe.
  • If you have children, keep things as steady for them as you can, and try not to involve them in disagreements.
  • If you are struggling to cope, call Samaritans free on 116 123, day or night.

Find free legal, financial and emotional support

Sources

Please note: This site is for information only and is not legal or financial advice. Please seek legal advice from a qualified solicitor about your own situation.